Short Jokes
06-22-2002, 06:08 PM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Short Jokes
At a pharmacy, Judi asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she
held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs,
but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing Judi and
baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and
subtracting the second amount from the first.
"It won't work," Judi countered. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalm 51:2-4 (knowing my own
hidden secrets) and Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the
following letter to the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I
have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income, and have
enclosed a check for $150.00. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "I have decided to
plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant
them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied
in a letter, "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden.
That is where I hid all the money."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You won't
believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up
all the back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter: "Dear wife, now is the best time to
plant the lettuce."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
My poor Uncle Bob, he was such an unlucky man. How unlucky was he, you ask?
He was so unlucky that once when he was digging around in his attic, he
uncovered what looked like a magic lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it,
and lo and behold, a genie came out of the lamp, and bestowed on Uncle Bob
the Midas Touch! And, alas, for the rest of his life, everything my uncle
touched turned into a muffler.
held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs,
but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing Judi and
baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and
subtracting the second amount from the first.
"It won't work," Judi countered. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalm 51:2-4 (knowing my own
hidden secrets) and Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the
following letter to the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I
have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income, and have
enclosed a check for $150.00. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "I have decided to
plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant
them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied
in a letter, "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden.
That is where I hid all the money."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You won't
believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up
all the back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter: "Dear wife, now is the best time to
plant the lettuce."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
My poor Uncle Bob, he was such an unlucky man. How unlucky was he, you ask?
He was so unlucky that once when he was digging around in his attic, he
uncovered what looked like a magic lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it,
and lo and behold, a genie came out of the lamp, and bestowed on Uncle Bob
the Midas Touch! And, alas, for the rest of his life, everything my uncle
touched turned into a muffler.
